Category Archives: Violence Against Women

Time to start posting again


I am sorry it has been so long since I have posted. I know some of you may have even forgotten about this little blog of mine. Yesterday was 19 years since the first time that I was raped. This year I had to take my hubby to the airport up in Indy so that he could go visit with his family in Georgia. This year I came back home and went back to sleep for a while and then got up and started cleaning house (as best I could with my back injury, which I will tell you all about soon). I had some friends come over and they kept me company. One friend came over and helped me clean…then the others came over and we had a girls’ night and we talked and made Vision/Inspiration boards and we had a good time and I did not feel sad or helpless or lost once. THIS year, I won.

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Cosmopolitan what the HELL are you thinking?!?!?!?!


In the same week that the full transcript of the Kobe Bryant police interview is released in its ENTIRETY leaving no one with even the smallest shred of brainpower the ability to deny that he is most likely guilty of raping that poor girl, Cosmo lists Kobe as on of the 30 hottest guys in the NBA.  Seriously?  I don’t think rapists are sexy….do you?

I have long been debating on whether to renew my Cosmo subscription when my 3 year subscription runs out this year.  I think that with them acting this irresponsibly I will have to say thanks, but no thanks.

Anniversary day….


This year I had scheduled to take today off of work.  Unfortunately I ended up missing two days of work for being sick and was not able to take the day off because we were really busy here at work.  Today I have been trying very hard not to feel this feeling and these feelings.  Today I have tried very very hard not to let the past ruin the day and not to let myself see that day again over and over again in my head.

See the thing is, even though it has been 18 years today, I can still remember exactly what I was wearing, what we had for dinner, all of the events leading up to and following what happened.  And I cannot shake it.

Today I am listening to Tori Amos and knowing that I am not alone.  I am trying very hard to not cry today.  Today is really hard for me.

I am sorry to everyone for not being here and for not posting like I had intended.  I have been having a hard time with this day coming and now with it being here and I really think that I can go back to being better after this.

Silent All These Years makes me think of my childhood….and what happened….and those feelings I cannot shake….

Prolonged Absence…I apologize….


I want to apologize to you, my readers and fellow survivors.  Things have been CRAZY busy this holiday season.  I have been making a lot of gifts which has kept me away from the computer.  After the New Year I have plans to start my support group (nerves!!!) and to begin working (hopefully) with Turning Point Domestic Violence Services.  I really hope that I do get to do some work with them, as they are who runs our local domestic abuse shelter and I feel that I can do a lot of good there.

Lots of love to you all.  Keep fighting the good fight.  Keep strong in your resolve.  Know that I love you all and I am just an email away.  Please do not hesitate to email me if you need to talk.  My email is whereismyreallife@gmail.com and I hope that you know I will be there for you if you need me.

Love and light to you all and a joyous holiday (whatever your holiday!)

Lucky

***I have been asked to add an addendum to this post.  Above I mention the support group and I mention Turning Point Domestic Violence Services.  I want to make it clear that the support group is not something that is tied to Turning Point.  Unfortunately they do not have any services like this available.  This is why I am doing the support group all on my own.

OVER IT by Eve Ensler.


This is copied from the Huffington Post site.  This article was not written by me.  This was written by the brilliant Ms. Eve Ensler.  I read this and had to share it with you guys.  I am over it too.  I agree with the OCCUPYRAPE part.  Countdown to Vday 2013.  I will be sharing this with my support group when it gets started.  We are getting closer to that time!

 

I am over rape.

I am over rape culture, rape mentality, rape pages on Facebook.

I am over the thousands of people who signed those pages with their real names without shame.

I am over people demanding their right to rape pages, and calling it freedom of speech or justifying it as a joke.

I am over people not understanding that rape is not a joke and I am over being told I don’t have a sense of humor, and women don’t have a sense of humor, when most women I know (and I know a lot) are really fucking funny. We just don’t think that uninvited penises up our anus, or our vagina is a laugh riot.

I am over how long it seems to take anyone to ever respond to rape. I am over Facebook taking weeks to take down rape pages.

I am over the hundreds of thousands of women in Congo still waiting for the rapes to end and the rapists to be held accountable.

I am over the thousands of women in Bosnia, Burma, Pakistan, South Africa, Guatemala, Sierra Leone, Haiti, Afghanistan, Libya, you name a place, still waiting for justice.

I am over rape happening in broad daylight.

I am over the 207 clinics in Ecuador supported by the government that are capturing, raping, and torturing lesbians to make them straight.

I am over one in three women in the U.S military (Happy Veterans Day!) getting raped by their so-called “comrades.”

I am over the forces that deny women who have been raped the right to have an abortion.

I am over the fact that after four women came forward with allegations that Herman Cain groped them and grabbed them and humiliated them, he is still running for the President of the United States.

And I’m over CNBC debate host Maria Bartiromo getting booed when she asked him about it. She was booed, not Herman Cain.

Which reminds me, I am so over the students at Penn State who protested the justice system instead of the alleged rapist pedophile of at least 8 boys, or his boss Joe Paterno, who did nothing to protect those children after knowing what was happening to them.

I am over rape victims becoming re-raped when they go public.

I am over starving Somalian women being raped at the Dadaab refugee camp in Kenya, and I am over women getting raped at Occupy Wall Street and being quiet about it because they were protecting a movement which is fighting to end the pillaging and raping of the economy and the earth, as if the rape of their bodies was something separate.

I am over women still being silent about rape, because they are made to believe it’s their fault or they did something to make it happen.

I am over violence against women not being a #1 international priority when one out of three women will be raped or beaten in her lifetime — the destruction and muting and undermining of women is the destruction of life itself. No women, no future, duh.

I am over this rape culture where the privileged with political and physical and economic might, take what and who they want, when they want it, as much as they want, any time they want it. I am over the endless resurrection of the careers of rapists and sexual exploiters — film directors, world leaders, corporate executives, movie stars, athletes — while the lives of the women they violated are permanently destroyed, often forcing them to live in social and emotional exile.

I am over the passivity of good men. Where the hell are you? You live with us, make love with us, father us, befriend us, brother us, get nurtured and mothered and eternally supported by us, so why aren’t you standing with us? Why aren’t you driven to the point of madness and action by the rape and humiliation of us?

I am over years and years of being over rape.

And thinking about rape every day of my life since I was 5-years-old.

And getting sick from rape, and depressed from rape, and enraged by rape.

And reading my insanely crowded inbox of rape horror stories every hour of every single day.

I am over being polite about rape.

It’s been too long now, we have been too understanding.

We need to OCCUPYRAPE in every school, park, radio, TV station, household, office, factory, refugee camp, military base, back room, night club, alleyway, courtroom, UN office. We need people to truly try and imagine — once and for all — what it feels like to have your body invaded, your mind splintered, your soul shattered.

We need to let our rage and our compassion connect us so we can change the paradigm of global rape.

 There are approximately one billion women on the planet who have been violated.

ONE BILLION WOMEN.

The time is now.

Prepare for the escalation.

Today it begins, moving toward February 14, 2013, when one billion women will rise to end rape.

 Because we are over it.

How am I feeling now?


Well I am glad that you asked.  I am actually feeling pretty good.  I am sorry I have not posted a lot lately.  Things have been CRAZY busy.  The month of October usually is.  I finally finished my son’s blanket (which is fracking awesome!).  I have started saying Frack a lot instead of Fuck in an effort to curb the cursing.  I have gotten put on new medications which will hopefully take care of my lower regions medical woes and get me back to feeling better.  I am going onto a new med which should facilitate weight loss (YAY!) and the world seems to be looking up.

I have been doing a lot of house cleaning the past few days.  I spent 4 hours on laundry last night folding, hanging up, putting away, washing, drying….blah.  I have been doing dishes more regularly and making myself be up and moving around cooking and whatnot when I get home so that I don’t get as stiff. 

I am still looking to start that support group.  Any ideas on flyers or posters?  I am going to a retreat with my hubby next month for survivors (our anniversary weekend) and am hoping to get some good information there.

I did miss my cultural sensitivity training from INCASA.  I had to go to the dentist.  Actually, the first time in 13 years.  Pretty good though.  Only 3 cavities.  I knew I had periodontal disease but we are getting that treated and working towards keeping my teeth in my mouth where they belong.  So far so good.  I am glad I finally decided to go.  I don’t know why I was so scared to.

Anyways, I am going to try to get on here more to post about relevant topics to this blog.  I just wanted  you to all know that I did not forget about you.  I appreciate each and every one of you.  I keep getting more and more subscribers and followers on twitter.  I feel blessed to be doing something that can help make a difference, even if only to one person.

Please give me ideas for posts.  If you would like to see me write about something, let me know.  You can either leave it in a comment here or email it to  me at whereismyreallife@gmail.com and I will try to write about every topic I get.  I will also give credit to the requestor.

Thank you all for reading my blog.  Thank you for being there for me.  Thank you for letting me be there for you.

Love and light,

Lucky

P.S. I have recently realized that somehow after all that has come before in my life, my rose colored glasses do seem to be pretty much still intact.  Some small cracks and some days I cannot find them, but for the most part I win.

Is this where our world is headed???


http://www.joe-stanton.com/post/9591501833/healywu-frakintosh-midnightrevue#disqus_thread Please go and read this post.  I could not get it to reblog and I did not want to take more time on it.  This guy is right.  It is disgusting.  Good on him for calling it out!

So apparently this Tyler guy thinks that it is ok to say things like “Victoria Jackson is going to take this dick or get socked in her fucking mouth.”  This guy is supposed to be a star of some sort in the world of rap and hip hop.  This is what we as a rape culture call entertainment and condone?  The misogynistic words, the glorification of rape and violence against women is what we call fun and art?  If this is the world we live in, then I weep for our children.

Wake up America!  Wake up all nations on Earth!  If we continue to treat this as a form of creative expression and art and say “What he really means is she is a pretty girl” instead of calling a duck a duck…we are in serious trouble.  I am not a prude.  I am not for censorship generally.  This is not entertaining.  This is not just “having a good time”.  This is scary.  This is sick.  This is vile.  This contributes to the dumbing down of the word rape.  Making it something that “is not so bad” or “what she really meant was that she wanted it but was too shy to say so”.  Is this what we want for our children?  Is this the world that we want to live in?  That we want our daughters, our sisters, our mothers to live in?

Something has got to give….