This year I had scheduled to take today off of work. Unfortunately I ended up missing two days of work for being sick and was not able to take the day off because we were really busy here at work. Today I have been trying very hard not to feel this feeling and these feelings. Today I have tried very very hard not to let the past ruin the day and not to let myself see that day again over and over again in my head.
See the thing is, even though it has been 18 years today, I can still remember exactly what I was wearing, what we had for dinner, all of the events leading up to and following what happened. And I cannot shake it.
Today I am listening to Tori Amos and knowing that I am not alone. I am trying very hard to not cry today. Today is really hard for me.
I am sorry to everyone for not being here and for not posting like I had intended. I have been having a hard time with this day coming and now with it being here and I really think that I can go back to being better after this.
Silent All These Years makes me think of my childhood….and what happened….and those feelings I cannot shake….
Posted on February 16, 2012, in Acceptance, Blog, Blogging, Blogs, Rape, Self Esteem, Self Love, sexual assault, Support Group, Violence Against Women, Writing and tagged Anxiety, aquaintance rape, Blog, Blogging, Blogs, Date Rape, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Healing, Rape, Rape Victims, Relationships, Sexual Abuse and Assault, Sexual assault, Survivor, Tori Amos, Victim, Victims, Violence and Abuse. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.