Rape is a murder of the self


So many times I sat and cried,

Wondering what I could have done…

What could I have done differently?

What would have kept them away from me?

Why did that little girl not have a voice?

Why did they take away her choice?

I will never know the woman I was meant to be.

The me that I would have become had they not stolen her from me.

I will never know that sweet little girl again.

You know, I see her now and then

But she is too scared to come out for long

She pokes her head out when no one is looking

She darts back behind the curtains before she is seen

How do I find a way back to her?

How do I get back the life that they took from her?

How do I find my way home when home is nowhere yet everywhere all at once?

How did I ever get this far from who I am?

From who I was meant to be?

What could I have done to keep them away from me?

Nothing.

It was not my fault.

I will not shoulder the blame and the shame for what was stolen and murdered in me.

One day they will answer for what they have done.

One day they will know that they sealed their own fate.

Until that day I will just sit back and wait.

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About wtfhappenedtomyreallife

I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, neice, friend, confidant and I am ready to speak my mind.

Posted on September 3, 2011, in Flashbacks, Love, Rape, sexual assault, Therapy, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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