A letter to my 15 year old self


Dear Sweet Little Girl,

I know that you are hurting inside.  You feel like everything you thought was a lie and  no one cares about you.  You feel like that boy that promised you forever…the one you should not have gone out with and should not have given yourself to… has turned the whole world against you.  I want you to know that you are not alone. I want you to know that you will grow up and yes, you will face hardships, but you are going to be ok.  I wish that I could go back in time and hold you like you wished mom would have done.  I wish that I could make it ok for you to tell her what she witnessed instead of letting her think that it was what you wanted too.  If they ever invent a time machine I will do that, but for now I can just tell you that I love you and that it is ok to cry.  It is ok to feel let down by all of those who you trusted to protect you and who didn’t.  Know that you will meet someone who will make you feel ok again.  He will make you feel loved and he will guard your heart.  He will not be your forever but he will help you grow through this.  He will help you through much sadness and teach you about joy again.  You will meet good and bad people along the way.  Know that there is a reason in everything.  Do not ever let them steal your light and your life.  Know that I am here for  you and I love you.  I love you because I am you.  Looking back at you I wish that I could have done better for you when I was there.  All I can do for now is tell you that I know you and I know your heartbreak and I will never let you down again.

Love and light,

Your 33 year old self

 

 

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About wtfhappenedtomyreallife

I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, neice, friend, confidant and I am ready to speak my mind.

Posted on September 2, 2011, in Counseling, Rape, sexual assault, Therapy, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. It seems like such an understatement to say only, “I love this” . . . but it’s true.

    I wish we could go back in time and share this understanding with our younger selves. Failing that, I like to feel like that 15-year-old self still lives in me, so that I’ll have these moments where I say, “Damn, man. See how far we’ve come?”

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