The world I know
This post may be a little rambling. I apologize ahead of time for that. There is a vacuum cleaner running and I am having trouble focusing.
I have been thinking very seriously about starting to write a book. I don’t know if it would be a memoir type book or if I want it to be a fiction book. I am not sure what characters I would include if it was a fiction book. My therapist has suggested that I join a writing group…and I really do want to. I have not had any luck with finding one yet. I do so much better when I am given an idea of something to write. Once I have that idea or assignment, my mind just builds it all out almost immediately and then the only trouble is getting it all out and onto the page.
I did text based role play gaming on yahoo many years ago and for many years. I created a fantasy world and had many guests in that world along the way. In that world I acted out some of the things that happened to me on a fantastical scale with the female being stronger and being able to overcome what someone was doing to her…or with her getting revenge for what was done to her. It was so empowering to me in that moment to be able to write it and have it be so.
I wish that real life was that easy. I wish that in real life there was a way to just write how we want it to be and make it so. I thought that I was helping myself by doing the role play gaming but I have to wonder if I wasn’t just hurting myself more. It is confusing. It makes me sad to think that I contributed to my own feelings of fear and anger and sadness.
Posted on August 18, 2011, in Counseling, Rape, Therapy and tagged aquaintance rape, Arts, Blog, Blogging, Blogs, Crime, Date Rape, Fantasy world, Fiction, flashbacks, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Health, Mental health, Online Writing, Rape, Relationships, Sexual Abuse and Assault, Sexual assault, Survivor, Thought, Vacuum, Vacuum cleaner, Victim, Violence and Abuse, Writers Resources. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.